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The War on Liquids

Insanity Rules in our Airports

Oded Kafka

Issue date: 3/27/07 Section: Society
Soon airports will have a take-a-bottle-leave-a-bottle bins modeled after the highly successful take-a-penny--leave-a-penny trays. Travelers will be able to leave the dearly bought 10oz. sunblock, and an incoming traveler will be able to make use of it… gratis. Insanity rules.

Oh I could go on. There is the shoe fad, and the liquid ban, the guaranteed random selection of every traveler who could be Middle Eastern. (Note to readers who like being strip-searched: book your reservation with a travel agent in the Middle East). Occasionally someone has a flash of sanity and declares that nail cutters are no-longer-threats-to-national-security. Still, insanity rules.

All jesting aside, our government took control of airport security nationwide after 9/11 because it is a something too important to leave to chance. Without their security, we might be afraid to fly. Just think about it: businesspeople might restrict their travel to a minimum and only fly with the aid of tranquilizers. We must not allow fear to interfere with our way of life. We should take comfort in the fact that our government dispels fear with simple safety steps.

We face a threat that is nebulous. We can only say it is not shoe bombs, not shampoo bombs, not plastic bottles. What is it though? Well, never mind, chapped knuckles are a small price to pay for safety.

At the next gate, a curly-haired youngster plays guitar and wails in a whiny nasal voice, "Let me die in my footsteps, before I go down under the ground." It is the voice of another generation, but it is fresh again.

While our country declares war on an abstract noun, and instructs us to Duck & Cover and Duct Tape our Homes, while we doff our shoes in patriotic solidarity here at the airport, we ponder how the TSA thwarts the Terror in our toiletries - We, the People, the Combine.

(Source: http://www.tsa.gov/assets/pdf/prohibited-and-permitted-items.pdf)
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