The War on Liquids
Insanity Rules in our Airports
Oded Kafka
Issue date: 3/27/07 Section: Society
The question burning in every mind as we sit here in the airport waiting to board is: How is TSA thwarting terror by confiscating my moisturizing lotion? It's not just my moisturizer. All our water bottles are empty and no one has any shampoo or shaving cream. We pass around a bottle of Bacardi that someone bought at the Duty Free shop, and ponder the nature of security and terror. We don't talk to one another - we just sit and think. The air in the airport is really dry. My hands are cracking, and I sure could use that moisturizer.
Don't get me wrong. We certainly appreciate TSA's efforts to protect our nation from terrorists and harmful personal care sundries. Also, it's not as though they haven't found a workable solution: you can take liquids, lotions, shampoos, etc. in containers equal to or smaller than 3.0 oz., but they must be contained in a clear quart-sized Ziploc bag, no gallon sizes, no twist ties, and no fancy zippered travelers' toiletry bag. Don't try bending the rules. A 5 oz. half empty shampoo is still a 5 oz bottle, not 2.5 oz of potential keratoid-enhanced wheat-germ-infused explosive material. Insanity rules.
Drinks are suspect too. A water bottle can threaten the safety of everyone onboard. Apparently water resembles another colorless odorless liquid that quenches thirst like water, and no demonstration of its innocent nature can satisfy the ever-vigilant security officer. Insanity rules. In truth, the TSA admits it is not the liquids, but the containers that they are worried about because they can be used to mix explosive liquids on board. Liquids don't kill people, containers do.
Thanks to the warm feeling flooding my system, I know one can still buy a 32 oz. bottle of rum at the duty free shop and take it on board, or even buy a bottle of water after the checkpoint - without restrictions. But that is not considered dangerous. That's commerce, and we mustn't let fear disrupt commerce.
Someday soon airports will have pharmacies stocked only with Lilliputian lotions, shrimpy shampoos and refreshing 3.0 oz. bottles of water. Insanity rules.
Don't get me wrong. We certainly appreciate TSA's efforts to protect our nation from terrorists and harmful personal care sundries. Also, it's not as though they haven't found a workable solution: you can take liquids, lotions, shampoos, etc. in containers equal to or smaller than 3.0 oz., but they must be contained in a clear quart-sized Ziploc bag, no gallon sizes, no twist ties, and no fancy zippered travelers' toiletry bag. Don't try bending the rules. A 5 oz. half empty shampoo is still a 5 oz bottle, not 2.5 oz of potential keratoid-enhanced wheat-germ-infused explosive material. Insanity rules.
Drinks are suspect too. A water bottle can threaten the safety of everyone onboard. Apparently water resembles another colorless odorless liquid that quenches thirst like water, and no demonstration of its innocent nature can satisfy the ever-vigilant security officer. Insanity rules. In truth, the TSA admits it is not the liquids, but the containers that they are worried about because they can be used to mix explosive liquids on board. Liquids don't kill people, containers do.
Thanks to the warm feeling flooding my system, I know one can still buy a 32 oz. bottle of rum at the duty free shop and take it on board, or even buy a bottle of water after the checkpoint - without restrictions. But that is not considered dangerous. That's commerce, and we mustn't let fear disrupt commerce.
Someday soon airports will have pharmacies stocked only with Lilliputian lotions, shrimpy shampoos and refreshing 3.0 oz. bottles of water. Insanity rules.
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